lap top died

I have a terrible history with computers, laptops and phones breaking or going missing, resulting in the loss of masses of information, photo's and phone numbers.
The laptop, I was using up until a few months ago, took its last bleep and has never opened its eyes again. I was then just left with internet access through my iphone, which severally restricts my ability to write, due to having a dodgy right thumb following 2 corrective operations following a brutal attack, in which my tendon was severed. it makes typing text messages of emails pretty lame. I have also found my eye sight starting to falter in a past few years. I hate wearing glasses because, they remind me of my dead father who was probably one of the worse fathers a boy could have. He left my mum by the time she had his 4th child, me, admittedly he was in prison during my birth but on release never returned but had the heartless attitude of only moving a mile away with his other wife and so to be mother of his 5th kid and boy. The golden boy hates his dad more than I did despite my/our dad bring him up on his own, the marriage didn't last long.
Not really sure why, I have opened this line of thinking other than to connect I can often have the same worry, I will bring my daughter up for her to turn around a hate me one day and for me to be left alone like my dad to die in an empty took 6 weeks for his body to be found following drinking himself to a heart attack, riddled by guilt, shame and self pity. The reason for these emotions, relate to a shameful act he committed 6 months before his death, in front of my severely disabled sister, she had a stroke at 40 and lost half her body to numbness and rigidity and developed schizophrenia. They always had a weird relationship, in that out of his 4 kids to my mum, Josephine had become a life long obsession for him and she wasn't innocent in her use of his attentions through the years. Anyway his final act was to me morally repugnant and caused me aggressively grieve him when he passed.

I don't think I have quite worked out the process for blogging on this site, I seem to be stuck on how to work out the functions. I will get there. Anyway, I managed to access a new laptop last week and within a few days I had messed up all the functions and had to restore the system yesterday to factory settings. I then had to spend the best part of 6 hours working out how to make the computer access the 3G modem which was working well before the restore but had vanished and wasn't responding. I eventually found the function and now I am fully back on line now but worried I am going to hit the wrong button again and crash the bugger.
Its a hot summers day and my daughter is playing in a sleeping bag in front of me with a torch and a curious kitten, with a robust temperament for being child handled.